what worries me recently


Alhamdullilah, now entering the first quarter of 2014. 

(1) Driving license.

Well, it took 4 months plus plus for me. and its my fault kenapa lama sangat aku punya masa nak ambil lesen p. but I must say, i'm getting bored with the driving school and i hate their management, terrible hampeh {for me}. i rate 2/5. gamak kau.

Anyway, reminiscing that situation bila communicate dgn officer kat situ, nak nak bila one akak perempuan ni yg kadang-kadang moody semacam yg angkat. And that times bila aku buat muka masa tgh call booking class sebab dapat kelas yg lambat, gap panjang sangat sebab aku booked lambat. Fine, silap aku. Then that very first time of my driving dekat jalan besar, and stress dgn instructor tu sebab aku lambat pickup. asyik kena marah jo. hei pakcik, i'm a learner. dont expect me to do very very well on my very very first time. bear in mind, tapi sekarang dah okay. alhamdulillah. Then every kelas pagi yg tiap tiap kali pagi pakcik van tu nak kena tunggu aku sebab aku siap lambat yg disebabkan aku bangun lambat. nasib dia okay. and kelas petang yang bosan, panas, dan penat. berpeluh-peluh naik motor. LOL

and now, i'm waiting for my jpj test. and i'll do my best ;A; tak nak lah repeat. bazir macam - macam nanti. and really hope so - to not repeat.
(2) To decide, to choose

Yang sebenar-benarnya, aku tak tahu nak sambung apa. well i'm kinda stucked. i dont get A for my physics. so, aku hapuskan niat nak jadi engineer tho memang aku tak nak jadi pun bcos its not my interest, not my passion. even kalau dpt A pun still tak nak jadi. ecehh

but i'll still into science. i wont take medicine bcos i think i dont deserve it. i'm afraid that i cant cope with the stress and anything related. LOL. i know there's stress@difficulties in wtvr we do. but entahlah my inner wisdom keep telling me yg aku macam tak boleh bawa. Haha. I also heard from the senior yang how susah it was to study medicine. {apa, ingat semua benda senang ke apa - but still} and aku suka ter-influenced dgn kata-kata orang. Haih. but i'll reconsider this. for my mom's sake, u.u

btw since my chemistry got a better grade that bio n physics, so i'm looking forward for pharmacy. nanti belajar pasal ubat ubat. wuuuuuuu. then, boleh bukak farmasi sendiri, berniaga. LOL. tapi entahlah. but, pharmacy is still in my list.

then, last year bila hv some good times with the senior, talking about what to take after spm, one of them recommend us to take dentistry. nanti kalau kerja, payment pun tinggi. ecehhh. ingat aku mengejar kekayaan ke apa. Haha, but the facts is aku memang pun. LOL.

anyway i love numbers and i like doing maths. HAHA. so i was thinking of doing accounting (just dreaming). tapi aku takde basic. so lupakan je lah. tapi cam best je. haha. takpelah.

apa-apapun still ada masa lagi boleh fikir nak ambil yang mana, still nak kena buka google, baca-baca apa yang patut. and decide what i wanna be. mak aku selalu suruh buat solat istikharah, and tak buat buat lagi. okay besok nak buat. lusa ke.
Cara Solat Sunat Istikharah 

(3) Pre-u study.

Aku dah apply matriks and upu. for upu, semua ambil asasi kat uiam. ceh bajet bajet nak belajar arab balik. bila fikir pasal benda-benda ni, semangat nak belajar tu datang balik. semua sebab result spm. me frust much. well i hv to say yg my result is really beyond my expectation sbb aku berangan nak jadi one of the straight-a achiever in my school tapi tak dapat. takpe, i accepted what allah plan for me. so, i learnt my lesson {to not over-confident; to choose kawan yang betul; to be serious, sincere in your study; to stop bazir buang masa; to guna every opportunity yg ada dgn sebaik-baiknya; etc} and i will do better for my pre-u.

i wont take stpm bcos of the typical reason that you'll back to school. pakai uniform sek. jalan-jalan kat sek jumpa budak-budak sophomore je balik. LOL. and i heard yg stpm adalah antara exam paling susah di dunia. dunia kot. but it's widely accepted. sbb tu susah kot. and I read, stpm students (science stream) lebih didahulukan and hv greater chance to continue study anywhere kalau dapat score.

okay. then, dulu masa form 5, bila balik rumah, selalu dok follow updates senior-senior. and bcos diorg perform dlm spm, so most of them take a-level or ib under scholarship. and i have this feeling nak jadi macam diorang, ambil a level, study overseas, apart gila dengan family, friends, tapi boleh acah-acah tangkap gambar kat luar malaysia, nak tunjuk how beautiful&wonderful is negara luar, then nanti bila raya@fam gathering. konon-konon kita je yang takde, so sedih semacam. LOL. (antara side motif bljr luar neg ;p)

but now, i looked on some others side. i heard some culture shock issues and i'm afraid, i'm one of them. hum, takut betul. then, u r goin to live alone there (takdelah alone sangatkan), berjauhan dgn family, friends and like nobody to tell ur problems. then feeling like bonding dgn fam pun cam so-so je sbb dah jauh gila kan. but its not a really big problem. as long as u know who u r {betapa pentingnya nak jaga nama baik diri, fam} and u hv faith in Allah, then u can survive.

anyway, ingat senang ke nak buat a level. susah tu susah. then dahlah mahal, thats why kena apply scholarship. scholarship pun dahlah complicated, ingat senang ke nak pass every stage. ada essay lah, interview lah. nak kena compete with others excellent students. Hum. if ada rezeki dapatlah. bolehlah kurangkan family burden nak funding your study kan. so i'm currently waiting for any callback. and i'll try to get any of it. yes i will - try. if tak dapat pun, at least ada experience kena interview, know the mistakes and try to improve next time. and then try apply scholarship for degree pulak.

and i was thinking yg if aku tak dapat offer buat a level@ib under mana-mana scholarship (asal aku tak habis-habis a level / ib je yg ada scholarship, c'mon its not only a level / ib - okay, kita cerita a level / ib je skrg) i'll decide to choose either matriks or asasi. miss fara cakap, pro for matriks is your life is controlled there. kira macam dekat sekolah lah. hidup ber-arranged. so, it's better for me sebab time management aku pun agak hampeh. then fee pun gov tanggung. but if aku dpt buat asasi at uiam, i can continue buat degree kat uiam juga. terjamin juga placement. tak payah lagi nak isi upu. so, better lah. but the things now is, itu kalau pun dapat upu. kalau tak dapat, matriks lah jawabnya.

but, wtvr it is, still nak kena baca review; q&a my own fam, teachers yg ada experience and all thats things. and at the end, nak kena buat solat istikharah lagi. 
1. since aku ni budak baru belajar, spm leaver and fresh out of the oven, so there's maybe some fact@english error anywhere. so, i'm sorry. and hv a nice day ppl.
2. sebenarnya aku stress gila sebab proses nak buat lesen aku ni lambat gila siap. Haih. bosan bosan. Tolonglah siap before may. 

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